At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
