I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
