what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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