his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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