This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
