Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
