I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
