You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
