We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I understand Curling. That high.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
