cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
