You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
