I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
