And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
