I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
