I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
