don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
