Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize