So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
