I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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