My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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