i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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