dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
