I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
