someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
