Whod you bang
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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