Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
