Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
