Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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