I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
