there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize