That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The power of my boobs compel you
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
