Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
