I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need water and some morals
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize