so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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