it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
