what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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