And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
