I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
