Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize