fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just googled if crying burns calories
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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