I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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