1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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