Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
