I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My bed smells like the plague
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