Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize