That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
