Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
