It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
