When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
