Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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