i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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