He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
