No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
