I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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