i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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