Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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