Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize