your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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