We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
