I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
