Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well most of my day revolves around power hour
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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