you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
