I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We left the knife in your bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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