She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize