he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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