I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
