I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A+ Viking dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
