I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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