I hope mine doesn't look like that
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
